Tagged: pathetic figures

the only thing I’ve cooked in weeks that I’m willing to admit to

So, I haven’t posted in almost two weeks. Which happens to coincide with almost two weeks of me being almost entirely uninterested in food.

Mostly I’ve just felt queasy and tired. Which almost makes me sound pregnant.

But, to be fair, I am constantly saying things that make it sound like I’m pregnant. (Those things are usually craving-related, and speaking of which, HOW GOOD does some coffee ice cream and literally ANYTHING alcoholic sound right now?) And so far, I haven’t been pregnant on any of those occasions.

So, no, I’m not pregnant. But like a pregnant person (I’m guessing; I don’t really talk to pregnant people), I have lately been a victim of some serious food swings. You know, just sort of skating along, eating nothing or eating junky bullshit whatever or napping and then OMG I’M GOING TO MAKE THIS PANCAKE? FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES RIGHT NOW WHY OH I DON’T KNOW.

I blame menstruation and my brief stint as a vegan about equally. I like dutch babies well enough, but honestly: I was sad, and I had some corn, and this recipe and I crossed paths, and it contained butter AND milk AND a relatively outrageous number of eggs, and so I was in.

Speaking of milk (which we were, for a second there), such are my smarts that when I realized I didn’t actually have any milk in the house, I went to a coffee shop rather than any kind of store. In my defense, it was a lot closer. And coffee sounded good! But while my latte order went smoothly, it took a surprisingly long time to talk the kidbarista there into selling me milk. First he thought I was trying to buy a gallon of milk from him, and then he just seemed deeply concerned about ripping me off by charging me upwards of $2 for a cup of milk. Dude’s got a lot to learn about capitalism.

But I did finally get my milk, and I did make this thing that was like a corn dutch baby, and it was ok. It looked like this:

Until it started cooling and shrank in on itself a bit and I threw some lightly cooked-down blueberries on top of it, and then it looked more like this:

And if I were a different person and this were a different time (read: like a week ago), this is where I’d go on to say that I looked like this. It was ok, but it was really not great.

…until the next day! This caught me off guard, because I honestly sorta thought these leftovers would be soggy trash the next morning. But a good night’s rest, a few seconds in the microwave, and a drizzle of maple syrup did wonders for this pancake. I don’t know if physics has an answer for that one, but I know it’s true, because it happened to me, and we’ve all decided by now that that implies universality, right?

tl;dr? Not pregs, just sort of bad at life; if you make this thing you should probably just stick it right in the fridge.

Share on Twitter
Submit to StumbleUponDigg ThisSubmit to reddit